


Downfall

by ephemerality



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Day Two, Jalec Week 2015, M/M, jalec - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemerality/pseuds/ephemerality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She remembers the night she realized he didn't love her anymore. At least, not the way he used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Downfall

She remembers the night she realized he didn't love her anymore. At least, not the way he used to. 

 

That little "disagreement" with a few drunk vampires that somehow escalated into an explosion, and he tackled someone to the ground to protect them. It was the first time that someone wasn't her. 

 

After that it was the little things. He was incredibly attentive, but not to her. There was coffee, lingering touches, whispered secrets, and none of them were for her. She was sure other people had noticed by then, the way they were no longer joined at the hip, and she wanted to cry, confront him, talk about it, something, but she had this feeling that if she ever said anything to anyone that something terrible would happen. Something like getting his Marks stripped, like being kicked out of the Institute, like not being a Shadowhunter anymore. And she still loved him far too much to ever do that to him. So she stayed silent. 

 

She wasn't exactly sure when it happened, but somehow, without realizing it, she and the warlock had become the cover stories. They alone had figured out what was going on, and they alone became the keepers of their lovers' little secret. She doubted even the boys themselves knew everything they had sacrificed to keep them safe and happy. 

 

At some point they had switched living quarters, the two parabatai living together, happy and in love, and she and the warlock sat on the sidelines and slowly lost their sanity. They spent their days binging chick flicks and ice cream and their nights out on the town, getting drunk until they couldn't think straight, crying together, leaving little trails of glitter behind that no one would ever see, because dammit the loves of their lives were too busy fucking each other to notice that they were trying to die. 

 

She remembers the night they got caught, when part of her was sad because she had loved him, once, and part of her was happy, because maybe now they would understand what it felt like to lose the person they loved more than anything and not be able to do a damn thing about it. But mostly she was just numb. She stared as cat-like eyes shed an eternity of tears and couldn't even bring herself to comfort him. 

 

She saw them afterwards, minds and bodies destroyed, yet still clinging to each other like all they needed, all they would ever need, was each other, and in that moment she hated them, hated them both, because she'd had that, that love, and now she could barely remember what it felt like at all. Now they had everything and she had nothing, and it wasn’t fair. He was her reason for living and she had been his, but now he had someone else and every time he looked at the new love of his life she faded away until there was nothing left, and when she finally disappeared, no one bothered to ask where she went.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](http//:obsessivemarrish.tumblr.com).


End file.
